Today is the anniversary of my having gone on-line with a journal. Almost from the start I kept a three-part design. I considered “My Letter to the World,” for general matters, the day-to-day observations of life and reports of my activities, the main section, the centerpiece of site. Ash Wednesday for 1999 occurred just a week after I went on-line, and I started posting observations about my spiritual life in “Sursum Corda.” Later in February I added “Re-figuring,” a section where I reported on my weight loss efforts.

I maintained the separations for a number of reasons, mostly having to do with what I perceived would be limited audience appeal for essays about the spiritual life and the “women’s issue” of weight loss. Having three parts also helped emphasize the image of the silken tent. As advanced in Robert Frost’s poem of the same name, it is, for me, a metaphor for a woman who is bound to this earth by many interests and obligations which sometimes get tangled, sometimes work in concert, but always remain a part of who she is. The thing that keeps the whole apparatus from collapsing is the “central cedar pole that is its pinnacle to heavenward, and signifies the sureness of the soul.” 

It has been just a little more than six months since I posted anything specifically to this section. My spiritual life has not been as dry as that would indicate. The spiritual life is by definition (my definition, anyway) more intimate than the outer, quotidian life, even if those outer events are explored from within rather than just reported as facts. I had difficulty opening myself to public expression of my prayer life and my relationship with God.

I thought of abandoning all effort to maintain this section, but I know that working on essays for “My Letter to the World” has helped me immensely to bring shape to random thoughts. Writing for an audience has always been touted as a way to clarify feelings and determine direction and purpose.

My daughter Lynn is preparing for her confirmation in the Lutheran rite in June. Recently for a class project she asked me a series of questions about my core beliefs and my faith history. I was hard-pressed to give her satisfactory answers to some of the questions. That has renewed in me a desire to compile my “spiritual autobiography.” 

So for the time being, this set of essays is back. It will no doubt continue to update at much longer intervals than “My Letter to the World.” And as I bring my spiritual thoughts more to my consciousness, they will continue to entwine themselves with my more readily acknowledged thoughts, so there will be spill-over and cross-pollination.

But not to continue is, I think, to miss an opportunity for growth.